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Honoring The Heroes of Bullying
This picture was taken at Detroit Children's Hospital, May 2010, three months before Brian went home to heaven. We got out just before Mother's Day. God always answered that prayer! I always got to take my baby home--the only gift I truly ever wanted was for him to be well and not be hurting!
BRIAN, MY HERO!
Written in 2005
Usually during the month of May, we honor our mothers. And although I love my mom dearly, I want to honor my son, Brian. Even though I’m proud of all four of my children, Brian is my real hero.
In his 17 years of life, Brian’s endured more than most adults do in an entire lifetime. Just since the age of 13, he’s had five surgeries, several heart caths, and now is waiting for a heart transplant.
Before the age of 13, he could rollerblade, ride a bike, and even jump on a trampoline, but he started turning slightly blue with overexertion. So we, along with the surgeons thought it might be a good idea to have a surgery. We assumed he’d get better, not worse. Besides, he’d had three heart surgeries before the age of two, and he did terrific for 11 years, so I figured it was a win-win situation. Boy was I wrong!
For the past four years Brian has fought tachycardia, bradycardia, atrial flutter, suffered a stroke, and had to be cardioverted more times than I can remember. At one point I lost hope, but not Brian, he squeezed my hand at one of his weakest, scariest moments, when he could hardly breathe and said, “Mom, just pray!” Going through all of this Brian has given us nothing but a smile, a joke, and the faith to hold on for tomorrow.
Brian isn’t the average teen. He’s very responsible. Although he has short-term memory loss, he still sets the alarm on his watch, to take the 8 medications he’s on. He doesn’t always feel good, normal, or right. Yet he always goes to school. And in spite of all his surgeries, hospitalizations, and near death experiences, he’s been on the honor roll since 7th grade. Aside from that he worked for the past three years in the Baker College Summer Youth Program
Last year the doctors told us his heart was too large and that his left (and only) ventricle wasn’t pumping effectively. We were informed that Brian’s heart was only functioning at 10-15% and that he needed a heart transplant. Still Brian handled the news with ease.
Instead of sitting home sulking, Brian tries to get exercise every day, he’s always cracking a joke, but mostly he puts his faith in God, because he says, “It’s a miracle I’m alive today anyways!”
He’s right. It’s definitely a miracle. When Brian was born, we learned that he had only two chambers in his heart—a normal heart has four. The doctors said that if Brian even lived through the first year it would be a miracle. It was a trying year. We faced many hurdles; high blood pressure, two severe open-heart surgeries, pneumonias, heart failure, and even the fact that he couldn’t gain weight. But each time I prayed, put my faith in God, and sure enough, God healed our son and brought us through every obstacle. And today we’re still believing he’s not done with Brian yet.
Thanks to Kids Wish Network, last year, Brian did get a wish. His real wish, at that time, was for his dad to get a job. (My husband’s factory had closed and he’d been out of work for three years.) But since Brian couldn’t have that wish, he chose a wish he could share with the entire family. We all went to Disney.
Then his father, John and I extended Brian’s wish by taking the
family to an ocean front condo in
Since Brian was a little boy, his eyes were glued to the Discovery Channel and he talked about being a scuba diver. So I could not believe how God worked this wish into our vacation. One day it was too cold to be on the beach, so we thought we’d spend some time in the indoor pool. When we stepped through the door, there was a scuba instructor with gear and tanks, teaching kids how to scuba dive. It was fabulous!
Brian waited patiently for his turn. But once he had the gear and tank on, there was no stopping him. He jumped in and swam along the bottom of the pool like a shark. And although he sucked the tank dry in a matter of minutes, he says it was the greatest experience in the world! I cried just watching him!
Lately Brian’s been having some problems, so he’s going to
This year for Mother’s Day, the only thing I want, is for my son, Brian to get the honor he so deserves and to live a long, healthy, happy life. Brian you’re my hero! I love you!
Your mom,
Lisa Freeman
Forgive The Bullies
Is that even possible, to forgive our bullies?
Yes, it is. I watched my son get called names, be teased relentlessly, and come home after being beaten up on the bus just to say, "It's okay, Mom, they didn't mean it."
Even though they hadn't said they were sorry, Brian already forgave them.
His brothers teased him about his weight at home. It really upset him and he even cried sometimes. But when they apologized, what they did was already forgiven and forgotten and he was ready to hang out with them like nothing happened.
Forgiveness isn't for our bullies. It's for us. It's the key to our peace, our happiness, our health, and well being.
Doctors said Brian should have only lived to be 1 year old--he lived to be 22. Why? I believe it's because he learned how to forgive and be at peace and love others and himself.
He lived every day like it was his last, and taught us how to love, laugh, forgive, and press on no matter what obstacle got in our way.
Today, thanks to Brian, we can take that message to others and help them get free too, so they can enjoy their lives.
Be A Hero & Save A Life
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We Buried His Body Not His Dreams
HERO
H- Help
E- Everyone
R- Respect
O- Others
We'd Love to Hear Your Hero Story!
This page is in loving memory of all Bully & Bullycide Victims & their families.